๐๐ถ ๐ ๐ธ๐ซ๐ผ๐ฎ๐ผ๐ผ๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ธ๐ป ๐ช๐ถ ๐ ๐ต๐ธ๐ท๐ฎ๐ต๐? // FILTHYSOUL DIARIES PAGE 2
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PAGE - TWO
Please tell me why youโre still in my dreams. Itโs been six months and I still canโt help but think about you. I should be happy that youโre happy. Instead Iโm craving your attention and love. Am I missing you or just the idea of you? Am I missing loving you or you loving me? I canโt tell, but I do miss you. So much so I canโt live a day without thinking of you. All the poetry you wrote for me is constantly penetrating my mind. I miss it. I miss you. Youโve moved on to another. They are the luckiest person in the world. I hope they appreciate you. I hope they know that your love is better than the air they breathe. I hope they help you in ways I never could. I hope you get the world you deserve.
Iโve blocked you out of my life completely so why am I still loving you? Why do I still contemplate our future? Why do I think youโll just pop into my life again? Itโs been six months.Youโve fallen for someone else. Now they are your muse. Now they get to lie in bed with you and hear all about your day. Youโre whispering sweet nothings into their ears now. Theyโve taken up a permanent residence in the spot that used to be mine.
Maybe Iโm overthinking. You always told me I do that when I get anxious or worried. Youโre right, you know. I do. Iโm worried youโve forgotten all about me. Iโm worried that once I was the light of your life and youโve now found a better source.
Maybe I just need more time. Itโs not okay. Iโm not okay. I know I should be. Itโs been six months... Here I am writing about you. Oh how the tables have turned. Iโm the one chasing an endless dream that will never come true. Itโs a dream for a reason. It does not reflect reality. Itโs a dream. All the dreams Iโve ever had were never reached. I was a hypocrite though. I always told you to dream your little heart away. You could do whatever you wanted. I call bullshit. This is one dream that can never be. Maybe in another life.. but weโre in this life. And in this life we just werenโt meant to be.
I always thought you were my soulmate. I was blind. Naive. Naive to what the world around us was churning out. Maybe itโs my fault. My coping mechanism for protecting myself just pushed you away. Maybe I was too much for one person to deal with. What if thereโs no one in the world who can deal with me?
You Probably Just Wasted 5 Minutes Of Your Time,
Love Ya.Comments (2) -
I have felt this same way about a person. I thought I would never be able to live without them. To be honest, it's happened more than once but I can tell you that this pain will pass. You will learn to feel happy again. It is hard and painful but hang in there. I found the person finally that I was meant to be with. I am finally happy and secure. I know you will find the right person someday. Right now, just know that people are here for you and we are reading your blog. xx
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@surfergirl3915 thank you for the advice
it sucks 
but Iโll get through it eventually! thank you for reading too!