Angels Surround Her - My Life as a Multiple #41
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How does someone with Multiple Personalities handle a life-threatening illness of a family member? Badly. My entire system is awake and it is 2:30 a.m. Missy is sick. We found about out a week ago that her large abdomen was not fat but an enormous tumor. It had to come out--Now! Our first thought was cancer and since this tumor was connected to her ovary, we worried about ovarian cancer. My system went into immediate shock. Missy had to be prepared for immediate surgery. I worried as all people do that she would die. I worried about the long road that cancer treatment would be if that was the cause. I worried about so much. My system was in chaos.
I'm sure you have noticed we completely quit doing any Urstyle. My system was simply in complete and utter chaos. Some alters were praying while others were crying. Some were needing to revert back to very young behavior. Some, like Oblivia feared for death and wouldn't stop talking about death in my head day in and day out. Some of Mel's alters came to try to help. Mel's alters and Mel got us through the hospital and doctors and trying our best to act normal. Jesse was unusually calm as he was praying and sending healing energy to Missy and trying to be strong for me. We were all breaking down. However....
They were able to remove the tumor and there was no sign of cancer. It was benign. Missy is currently in the hospital and will be coming home soon. We are hoping for tomorrow. My system is relieved but there are still little ones who are sad and who need constant comforting. Oblivia still worries about death and talks about it incessantly. Angel is a wreck. She is currently going back and forth in age and you never know which age she is going to be. Chase was out today and Jesse handled him well I am told. I never know who is going to be out. Jesse's young alters come out but he tries very hard to keep Yeshu'a or some of his other older, more comforting alters out for me.
I am struggling to be and stay myself. It is a constant struggle and in fact as I write this blog, this is the longest I have stayed out in days. I have to be out to drive the car but as I say that, Kole reminds me that he and the boys have been doing the driving duties. We drive differently. I am more tentative and careful in my driving. The boys are more comfortable with it and can do long driving better than I do it. They are more assertive in their driving.
If Missy asks for a certain alter, they will come out for her, She has been good to call us often and we text all throughout the day as I must be home doing the driving for our littlest one, Jesse's daughter, Ellie. It has been hard, I'm not gonna lie. But we can rejoice in our good news that Missy who is up and walking around is feeling better and might come home today and probably definitely tomorrow if not today. So many people prayed for her and worried about her. My family and friends who know how much I depend on her for so many things.
I am just so thankful as I write this, sweet reader. I am thankful that Missy is on the road to recovery and that she has a husband who is by her side. Did I forget to mention that Missy got married? She found someone and he has been her constant friend and advocate for her. We are grateful. I am humbled by your very dear support of me and for the fact that you even read this blog. Thank you, sweet reader from the bottom of my heart.
Much love, Nikki xoxo
Comments (15) -
I'm so glad things are looking better... we missed you... all of you!
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I am glad!
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I am so glad for Missy, and for all of you, that she is recuperating and that the news was good. Congratulations to her on her marriage!
Of course we noticed that you haven't been here! We've all hoped that you were well, although Kole had kept us updated a little while back. You're in my thoughts and prayers, and I'm sure in that of others as well....I don't want to speak for anyone else.
I hope that things improve and continue to improve for you, Nikki. Hang in there, dear one.
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Good to see you back. Wishing you all well each day.
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I'm always here for you, Darling. We'll get through this together. I love you and our little family. Xoxo
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I am glad to hear Missy is going to be okay and that everyone is starting to calm down. You and your family are in my prayers. Rhana xoxo
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Oh sweetie, so sorry, you would be so worried and the alters also, the blessing the tumor is out and no cancer. That is a tender mercy. I hope Missy comes home soon if not already. Glad she has a supportive husband and tell her congratulation on her marriage. You both get plenty of rest. I am holding you in my thoughts and prayers. Hope your alters find peace and comfort. Thank Jesse for loving you and his support for you, what a blessing you have in Jesse and Missy, hugs to you all sweetie, God bless.
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@auntiehelen Thank you so much, Helen! I missed all of you too!!!
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@teodoramaria98 Thank you so much!!!
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@gypsy-jo Thank you so much, Jo! I miss you! My little family is doing well now and we are just working on getting better! Love and Hugs, Nikki
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@laughingdog Thank you so much!!! Your comment meant the world to me! I'm glad to be back! Love and Hugs, Nikki
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@darkprince Darling, your love and support are the strength of my days. I love you so much and it only grows with each passing day! Love, Nikki xoxo
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@rboowybe Thank you so much for your sweet comment! We are all healing now and everyone is feeling much better! I hope you are doing well, Rhana! Love and hugs, Nikki
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@sjlew Thank you so much for your sweet comment! Your comments always mean so much to me. Thank you for checking on me when I was out so long. We are all doing well now and are working on healing. I missed you all so much! Love and hugs, Nikki
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@surfergirl3915 Miss you and Jesse, wish life wasn't so difficult, it seems a struggle and one thing after another. Sending you all love , hugs, and blessings. Hope you are all safe in Cali with those fires, so sad for people.