Lorelei - My Life as a Multiple #30
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Lorelei is part of Mel's system. I really didn't know anything about Lorelei until today. Mel has to help me with her alters because I don't know what they do. So Mel is co-present with me, helping me understand the fascinating alters in her system.
Today we had to go to the dentist for a root canal. Dentists terrify us. We get flashbacks whenever anything is put into our mouths and the feeling of being restricted is like being held down. So, even though they use novocaine and nitrous, we are usually still gripping the armrests and breaking a sweat and it is a white-knuckle ride for us. I try to control my alters because the children want to come out and cry and whine and even runaway from the whole situation.
Mel goes to the Dentist for us. She is the calm, cool face that says we are normal and we will be fine. Today, as I was laying back in the chair, Mel let me see that Lorelei was helping with the pain. She has a tremendous pain tolerance and she takes the pain like a trooper. So Lorelei helps us endure pain and this was necessary for our life. Lorelei mostly takes physical pain for us. Mel says other alters handle emotional pain.
We have a very serious stomach condition caused by some surgeries we had and it causes great pain from time to time. Lorelei takes the pain and even though we are often at a 10, when we go into the ER, it is not evident to most who look at us. We actually have to ask the alter who is bearing the pain to stop so the triage nurse can assess us. Our daughter usually explains the situation to the nurses and doctors so we get the medication and help we need. Lorelei does her job very effectively.
Today was the first day we actually saw Lorelei and knew it was her. Mel allowed us to see so we could write this blog entry. Lorelei lives in a world of sadness and pain. Luckily we are pretty healthy on most days as we have learned to manage our medical condition and eat a gluten-free diet.
Thank you for reading, sweet reader and my dear friends. I appreciate your hearts on my blog and your ever helpful comments. You have all become so dear to me through this process of writing. I feel like I am starting to understand myself and how I work.
Hugs and love, Nikki xx
Comments (8) -
We fear pain, I think some of us feel it more than others. Pain lets us know there is something wrong and needs attention. When the pain becomes unbearable and chronic is sad. Hope Lorelei never masks acute pain to warn you something is wrong, but can sooth the hurt too when needed. I hope when you daughter explains that the medical community listens and treats accordingly. Bless your heart Nikki with hugs.
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Fascinating entry, Darling. I'm glad she's with you to take the pain, but I wonder why she herself is always sad and in pain. I'm here for you, as always. Love you xoxo
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Pain is definietely something I can relete to both you and Lorelei about. I'm a chronic pain patient. I also have had several abdominal surgeries and have to go to the ER in great pain a lot, even with having pain meds at home. I find it interesting that I relate to you and Mel and some of her alters. Luckily the dentist doesn't bother me. I think I'd like to borrow Lorelei, especially right now! I'm sure you've needed her and glad you and Mel had her. Hugs, Rhana xoxo
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@sjlew Thank you so much for your sweet comment!!! My daughter is so used to explaining to the medical community and so far they have been very understanding. Pain is certainly not something to mess around with. You are so sweet to comment!!! It means so much to us!!!
Hugs and love, Nikki xx
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@darkprince I don't know why she is so sad. Maybe because she is in pain a lot! Thank you for commenting darling! I love you!!!
Love, Nikki xoxo
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@rboowybe I wish I could lend her to you, Rhana! I'm so sorry for your own pain. In many ways, having alters is helpful but I try to imagine what we would be like if we were all integrated back together. Would my pain tolerance be lower? I don't know. I have learned to adapt and this is all I know. Thank you for your sweet comment!!!
Hugs and love, Nikki xx
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Someone enduring pain like that is very useful indeed! Her beauty and grace is clear for anyone to see.
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@sonofmorning What a sweet and dear comment! Thank you so much! Hugs and love,
Nikki xoxo