Dante - My Life as a Multiple #18
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Well, here is where things get really crazy. I should call this blog entry Mel part #2. Mel has her own system of alters which intersects my system through her. There is a scientific name for all this: Polyfragmented Dissociative Identity Disorder. And yes, it is hard to keep it all straight in my mind. I don't know about all of Mel's alters. The one I know the best is Dante. He is the other part of Mel. Dante is a counselor for both systems and even for Jesse's system.
Dante is where most of our education lies. Dante helped us through undergrad college where we majored in psychology. Mel got our Master's Degree in Education. Dante counsels the system when there are fights or arguments or when people (alters) get upset. He is always with me when we sleep and when we do dreamwork. He is respected by both systems and even by Jesse's system as he is often the only one who can calm down a frightened or a sad or an angry alter.
I know it's hard to believe a person has even one system much less two systems but this is the end of my systems. I only have two. And yes, two is quite enough, more than enough to keep track of. On Polyvore, Mel's system had their own profile but here they create on @Houseofstone . I hope they come forward more now so I can get to know them but they have not chosen to get to know me yet, so I don't know if I should hope or not. Mel has reported to me that she has 12 alters in her system. So that is all of us.
Dante is like an older father figure for us all. He is the wise one. We go to him with our problems and he always has a solution and it usually helps us a lot. Even our therapist talks to Dante sometimes but I'm not sure he even realizes it. Dante is co-present with me whenever I am trying to work through things or help others. When I say he is co-present, I mean it is like he is standing right behind my shoulder, whispering in my ear. I can feel him and he could push forward with very little effort. But Dante always chooses to stand in the back. He's not a pushy guy. He waits. He waits for alters to come to him with problems and he he waits on their answers. He is very patient and kind. Dante is always a gentleman.
Some of my friends even know Dante and ask for his sage wisdom when they are talking to me. They will say, "Can I speak to Dante?" or "What does Dante have to say about this?" He is able to calm lots of people. If we had become a therapist, Dante would have done that job excellently.
Thank you for reading, sweet reader. I hope the week ahead is a good one for you and thank you for your "hearts" and comments. They are always welcome and this blog may leave you with a lot of questions.
Hugs, Nikki xx
Comments (15) -
Perfect image for Dante, I like it. Keep on writing and I'm sure more alters will become visible here xoxo
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No questions, honey. Just a hope that you all together find a way to merge, if that's what you want, peacefully and in comfort and happiness.
I cannot imagine that this has not had a toll on you, with so many personalities being involved, and then Mel having more on top of that. (This is said in a teasing manner - I cannot bear going out in public, and if the "public" were in my head, I'm not sure what I'd do!
)With great affection,
Jo -
Oh sweetie, he looks so wise and kind of a strong teddy bear. Yes this is confusing and wonder how many more could be hidden, tucked away, too exhausting and can't grasp how hard this is for you. How does you therapist go about treatment and also do you meet with your daughter and Jesse in therapy sessions also.
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@darkprince Oh darling, you are so sweet to me. Yes, I'm sure they will. Writing has been therapeutic in some ways.
Nikki xoxo
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@gypsy-jo I think one reason I'm an introvert is because of all the people in my head! Haha. Seriously, being with people often drains me and I have wondered if it is all the "people" I live with. It would seem on the surface that integration is the goal but actually the goal is to learn to work cohesively together. Integration has not worked well for us. It threw us into crisis when we tried it. I finally decided to just try to learn to live with us all as one big happy family. It has worked better. Thank you so much for your supportive comment. I really appreciate it. I hope your day is a wonderful one!
Hugs, Nikki xx
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@sjlew Yes, my therapist often has Missy and Jesse in our sessions. We just mainly discuss medication management and how things are progressing. At this point in life, it is about working together and me learning to listen to my alters and to their problems which I do. If everyone feels heard, it works well. Lots of my alters talk to Jesse when there is a problem and he is wonderful with them. Thank God, Jesse is not a problem to any of them. Maybe because he has alters too, they don't feel as threatened. Jesse is very welcoming with them and loves even the most naughty ones. It is a miracle, really. I thank God every day for Jesse. My daughter has alters she does not like and that has caused problems in the past. Jesse just loves them all. Thank you so much for your comment! You always make me feel so much better after I write. Have a really wonderful day!!!
Hugs, Nikki xx
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@surfergirl3915 So very complex sweetie, a blessing you have Missy and Jesse, sad for the ones who have no support system, hugs!
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I like Dante, really! And it's hard to imagine how it is when even your alters have their own system. Thank you for being brave enough to share this with us! Hope you have a fantastic day! Hugs, Asya
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@sjlew You bring up a really interesting subject--how hard it is for those with Multiples to get a support system. I do thank God every day for my support system. The nature of the illness is often people with Multiples are too sick for people to stay around them. They unintentionally push people away with their craziness and paranoia. My heart breaks for them and for me when this was my reality. It took a lot of work and therapy for me to get where I am today. I am so grateful for my blessings and for people like you, who are so sweet and so compassionate. Thank you!!!
Hugs, Nikki xx
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@asia-12 I have a really good sense of humor which has seen me through many a dark day. Thank you so much for your comment and Dante thanks you for your sweet compliment. You are such a sweetie and a dear one to us. Have a great day!!!
Hugs, Nikki xx
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@surfergirl3915 that's good. I like people with a good sense of humor, life can be a little bit easier then
Thank you! -
Things are better when you have a support system. I'm happy Jesse gets along with all your alters. Have a wonderful day! Hugs, Rhana
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@rboowybe I am ever thankful for my many blessings. Thank you for your sweet comment!
Hugs, Nikki xx
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Without Dante's wise counsel I shudder to think where I would be, dear one! He truly is a wonder!
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@sonofmorning we’d all be sunk without Dante and that’s for sure!!! Thank you for your comment! Your support means so much to us! Hugs and love,
Nikki xoxo