IT'S NEVER DULL
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So, I would like to thank @FunkyJunkyGypsy for her incredible insight. I did some research and it helps to have a new perspective about the whole thing. But the bottom line is, Dissociative Identity Disorder still falls under the mental illness category and that is where you find the medical help needed to deal with it. So it is what it is.
I'm a little tired because Angel got me up at 4 AM so she could go on her profile and check her group and also make a set. She starts early and I'm darn lucky it wasn't 2 AM when she woke up this time. How does this feel? Well, I wake up and then there is this insistent voice in my head that says "I want to get on my profile!" It won't stop no matter how much medication you take until you get on the computer and let her do what she wants to do. Then the voice is silent.
I have been thinking about making a profile where all my alters can just create. We had one on Polyvore. It really helps them to have a voice because many do not speak and just hide away inside. But when they had a profile, they would create. Each in their own way. What do you think? Good idea or no? I could be setting myself up for more early mornings but that is just part of living as a multiple.
Take for example, shopping. You probably just go to the store and pick something out and buy it and go home. But I have many shoppers. Some want toys and others food and others just want what they see. I have to say "no" alot of the time. One time Angel got the credit card and that was awful. It was actually my daughter who stopped her from buying me a house full of toys. My daughter, Missy, has wrestled with many alters and she does really well. She does not like the suicidal ones and thankfully they do not come out much anymore because I am happy.
I have a wonderful fiancee. We have been together for 6 years and he does the heavy lifting with the alters and is just wonderful. So, it is possible to find a happy life and even love if you have Multiples. I want to offer hope to anyone who thinks just because you are different that no one will ever love you. The right person will love you just as you are.
I'm pretty tired right now so I will end this blog for today. There's a lot to talk about so stay tuned.
Nikki
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I'm always going to love you, Darling. Great post!
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Great post! It's wonderful that you have someone to love you and share your life with!
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You're very welcome, Nikki!
And yes, I understand that Dissociative Identity Disorder still falls under the 'mental illness' category. So does PTSD. That's medical classification, as all conditions affecting mental health have to be classified under a category for diagnostic purposes.
The medical community is on the cusp of its research and findings about many mental disorders. Using neuroimaging (various types of brain scans) researchers are discovering that many mental disorders are actually physical conditions of a damaged brain.
The structural damage causes chemical imbalances and other dysfunctions (symptoms). The symptoms experienced by the individual are currently used to classify the disorder and to diagnose it, but it turns out, these symptoms are indicative of a brain that has been physically affected and needs attention (healing).
Using ‘trauma’ as an example, the surge of stress hormones/chemicals that flood the brain during trauma literally affect its physical functioning and structure.
“In depersonalization disorder, reduced gray matter volumes (GMV) in right thalamus, caudate, and cuneus, and increased GMV in the left dorsomedial PFC and the right somato-sensoric regions were observed. ... these areas have been implicated in dissociation. In DID, reduced volumes in the amygdala and hippocampus and parahippocampus were found….“
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5283511/ (Don’t read all that. It’s too long! Just citing the source.)Now, consider that, if portions of your brain have been reduced in size (volume) they will not only not function to full capacity, but the amount of chemicals they produce and take in will also be off.
Both PTSD and DID are now considered pathophysiological disorders, even though they are still classified as mental illnesses. What’s a pathophysiological disorder?
Pathophysiology (a.k.a. physiopathology) a convergence of pathology with physiology – is the study of the disordered physiological processes that cause, result from, or are otherwise associated with a disease or injury.
Pathology is the medical discipline that describes conditions typically observed during a disease state, whereas physiology is the biological discipline that describes processes or mechanisms operating within an organism.
Pathology describes the abnormal or undesired condition, whereas pathophysiology seeks to explain the functional changes that are occurring within an individual due to a disease or pathologic state.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/PathophysiologyLastly, this:
“DID is a pathophysiological disorder. The patients suffering with DID have been found to have some alterations in their brain morphology. Amygdala and hippocampus have been found to be affected in DID as well. Usually the reduction in size of the hippocampus of DID patients is observed. Moreover, studies also show an involvement of orbitofrontal cortex in these patients, with reduction in functioning and the blood flow in OFC. These kinds of findings can surely be helpful for the psychiatrists as well as the patient, because a complete understanding of the mechanism of such a unique mental disorder could be useful in finding a possible permanent solution for this medical problem. A solution more inclined towards the prevention, treatment and management.”
https://www.omicsonline.org/open-access/dissociative-identity-disorder-a-pathophysiological-phenomenon-2157-7013-1000251.php?aid=81961Nikki, I’m not trying to veer the topic to brain research. I just wanted to give you a dose of hope. This is not a chicken-or-egg situation. Of course, we don’t have brain scans of people before they are affected by a particular disorder, so we cannot definitively say that they weren’t born with an abnormal brain. All we can go by is the fact that their brain functioned one way before a trauma and another way afterward. And we can look at brain scans to see how their brain is presently structured and operating. From there, we can find methods/treatments to reverse the damage to the brain, which comes under the heading of “neuroplasticity”: the ability of the brain to form and reorganize synaptic connections, especially in response to learning or experience or following injury.
Brain research, as far as mental illness, is in its infancy. In the future, I expect to see various conditions once classified as a ‘mental illness’ reclassified as a physical brain injury that causes mental disturbance.
As you may have determined, the brain is of huge interest to me, ever since my own got off-kilter. (Unfortunately, my condition doesn’t explain my twisted sense of humor, as that existed for as long as I can remember. If anything, I’m much tamer now, LOL!
) I will refrain from any discussions on the brain unless it’s something YOU wish to talk about here. This is your blog, your forum, your place to share, and to get support. This is my way of offering it to you. 
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@funkyjunkygypsy Thank you so much!!! It does give me hope!
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@rboowybe Thank you!!! You're very sweet!!! xx
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@surfergirl3915 YAY!!!!!!!
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@surfergirl3915 PS: Two questions:
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Age? (I'll be 54 in two weeks!)
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Which of your alters comments on my sets? Tell the one who is most easily pleased to do the commenting.
The second question was tongue in cheek. I am NOT making fun of you or your condition. I'm just being playful!
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@funkyjunkygypsy Question #1 - really hard to explain. The body is 64. However I do not feel or function as that age. Mel does. My age is mid to late 20's. Why? It's a very long story.
Question #2 - I comment on your sets and Angel does. I think we would both be thrilled by comments. I'm not sure if I answered your question.
Nikki
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I'll try to keep this short, but it appears we have some things in common. I have Bipolar Disorder type 2, and it has been progressing for years, regardless that I am on several medications that help greatly. I function much better than I did, but the symptoms are still prevalent. I now sleep in chunks of time (never more than 5 hours), and am up at all different hours, and this place has become my source to fulfill the need for creative outlet. It also fulfills the need for collecting things (and saves me a lot of money, since instead of shopping, I "hoard" items). My life revolves around keeping my mental illness in check, and until the time comes when I have a better handle on it, I'll be in therapy. I've found that my life functions more smoothly by giving in to the things that my illness desires, such as not being out around people much, rather than forcing myself out when I find it debilitating to do so. If it doesn't hurt you to have profiles for all of your alters, then you should do so. If it does cause harm in some way, then don't do it. This is what happened to me with the sleep thing. I sleep less at one time, but sleep several times a day. It evens out.
Wishing you well,
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@gypsy-jo Thank you so much for your support! It means so much!
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@surfergirl3915 I understand what you mean. It very much surprises me that "the body" is 64 you have always given me the vibe of being in your early 20's and now I understand why.
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@rboowybe Believe me, it surprises me too every time I pass a mirror! I've made peace with it but it's sure hard! Thank you for your comment!
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@surfergirl3915 Answered! Thank you!
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Oh sweetie, very exhausting to keep up, too many voices, all wanting something different, I only ''know one'', a beautiful sweet soul, very creative. You are special and brave, sending hugs, bless your heart.
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As your daughter, I just want to say its true it has been difficult. I am glad you feel I handled things well,from my stand point I never know if an idea works or not. I am just thankful I still have you in my life. I love all of you every personality! I couldn't ask ask for a better life or a more loving and caring parent. Mom you are my world my everything...... even after you are no longer in this life. I can not imagine life with out you. I love you!
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@missy-goldsberry I love you too, sweetheart!!!
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You know, I am just glad you have your wonderful daughter and your fiance in your life, they make your life better. Thank you for posting this post.
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@asia-12 You're welcome!! Thank you for reading this post!!
Hugs, Nikki xx